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Tuesday 19 March 2013
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3/19/2013 11:25:00 pm
date : 19th March 2013 time : 2254hrs Assalamualaikum, Ya Allah.. life has started to be more challenging.. especially at work.. haiz.. and also what I'm facing at home and in my relationship.. I think I'm giving up and let nature takes its cause.. seriously.. Family issues: My dad is not getting any better.. Im not sure if he's getting worse.. or he remains the same.. I didn't talk to him much coz I'm disappointed with him.. there was one time I tried to bring him out but he doesnt want and complained that his knee was in pain.. he doesnt even make an effort to improve himself.. he just want to slack at home and watch TV.. he doesnt even pray now.. reason, knee pain.. I dont know.. mom keeps giving him motivation but if he says he's not doing it, he's not gonna do it.. besides my dad, there's not much of an issue.. mom's concern is just how to give my bros their school pocket money once they started school.. prolly I will have to step in and help with the household issues.. my dad is sick, now mom's in charge.. and I'm supposed to support my mom.. insya'Allah I will give my best.. Relationship issues: Me and my fiancee are doing fine but I just need her help sometimes.. financially.. as I've mentioned in the previous post, the least she can do is to help with the honeymoon trip.. and also we need both CPF contribution to pay the house.. I cannot be doing it alone.. haiz.. I tried to explain to her but she doesnt seem to understand.. she keeps procrastinating to get a job.. she doesnt want to improve herself and keeps blaming her mindset.. I'm very patient with her and still am.. if I keep pressuring, she will switch off and be her old self.. but the thing is, even if I talked to her nicely, she still procrastinate.. I donno how to motivate her.. I maybe her fiance in status, but Im not sure where I stand in her life.. haiz :( Work issues: Now is like more issues are popping up with the system.. every now and then there will be a call from a camp.. haiz.. especially Sembawang.. haiz.. irritating max! And now we have to do maintenance for Paya Lebar too.. we are not only doing maintenance, but also rectify all issues and they expect us to finish it very soon.. haiz.. and the one doing all these are just me and Nur.. Victor told me they're not employing more people.. ok, besides that we also need to develop 11 more systems.. and ALL FROM SCRATCH!! Now Victor wants to know the quantity of parts that is in the office.. MANA LAH AKU TAUUUUUU~ haiz.. why cant they just buy all the parts needed to develop all 11 systems?! Oooo Emmmm Jhaaaayyy~ And now we cant be efficient for our maintenance.. we travel from point to point by public.. kow! Aaaahh~ I donno lah... To be honest, I'm going through all these alone.. I have no one to share with.. my fiancee is supposedly to be my bestfriend but now she's also having problem.. I wish I have a better person to talk to.. but I dont think people will understand what Im going through.. maybe they will but only I can feel the load on my own shoulder.. but I know Allah wont give up on me.. that's why now I'm paying more attention to Allah more.. Oklah, I will end now.. Good nite~ time : 2328hrs |
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Tuesday 12 March 2013
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3/12/2013 11:34:00 pm
date : 12 March 2013 Assalamualaikum.. Im blogging now coz I dowanna share my thoughts in Twitter.. not a good platform.. ppl can see what Im feeling.. I will just post it here.. 6 more months to our wedding but Im not that excited.. maybe not excited at all.. deep down Im scared.. Im scared it might not go the way I want it to be.. My fiancee has not been working since Jan 2013.. I need help with the finance.. prolly she has the money to pay for her wedding decors and stuffs but our honeymoon will be an issue.. I only have 300 in the saving.. how am I gonna start planning when the budget is fucked up.. Im angry but if I vent my anger, she wont even have the heart to look for a job.. Im so confused what to do.. Honestly, I have no one to talk to.. even if I do, I dont think he or she can help.. everyone has their own problem.. every night I keep thinking what I can do to improve the situation.. sometimes I even wish I can gamble and win some cash for us to go honeymoon but it will not be halal.. Sometimes I even wish I will not wake up tmr so I dont have to face the world.. but Im not prepared to die either.. I donno.. I donno.. time : 2335hrs |
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Saturday 2 March 2013
1 comment(s) /
3/02/2013 02:53:00 am
date : 2nd March 2013 time : 0228hrs Assalamualaikum I'm back to blogging.. after so long.. I guess it is time for me to express what I'm feeling here.. Anyway, as I'm blogging now, I'm playing The Fray's "You Found Me" in youtube.. nice song.. I just wanna share what I've been feeling these days.. My Fiancee has not gotten a job and it worries me.. I feel like I'm the only one who is into this relationship.. I just want things to work between us.. I need her to work so she could at least help me out to pay for the honeymoon.. haiz.. I've paid for the flight tickets.. but I need her support to pay for the accommodation and expenses.. and this month, I need to pay my RT fine (as I did not complete my RT last year).. and also a few more stuffs that I need to pay.. After all that deductions, I'm only left with $200 to survive for the whole month.. No doubt my pay has increased after I joined my new company, but still I'm facing this difficulty.. At times I wanna give up but I tell myself not to coz it is one of my goals in life that I wanna get married.. I have a strong feeling that my fiancee is the one for me but there are obstacles that I need to go through.. there will be challenges during the engagement period.. syaitan will be the 3rd party.. till today, I've been keeping strong.. I motivated myself and Allah is my guidance.. Anyway, an update about myself.. I resigned from Singtel and now I'm in a new company called Stratech Systems Limited.. we're dealing with camp securities.. more like using under carriage scanners to scan vehicles' base for foreign objects.. Alhamdulillah it has been good.. I started work on the 14th December 2012.. my office is located at Jurong East.. damn far from my home.. I need a bike license.. haiz.. now taking.. I guess that's all for today's entry.. will update again soon whenever I'm free.. have a great day~ Ariff Mohamed time : 0254hrs |
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